Dainties
by XxRoadKillxX
Summary: Companion to PD Harry's out on a walk when something catches his eye. What a pretty colour it is! The only thing left to do is have a tea party! "Harry, what's that?" "I do believe it's a bran muffin."
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: **This story has been floating about my brain for a while and is now finally written down. Enjoy what I did mad procrastinating on my homework. Mild language.

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**Dainties:**

_a Phoenix Down side Story_

Harry was out walking the outskirts of Edge when he thought he saw something…glint. Curious, as was in his Gryffindor personality among other things, the boy stepped forward and moved the rock. He didn't expect what greeted him.

He knew what materia were; bloody hell, who on this world _didn't_ know what materia were? Needless to say, the crystalline magical objects were usually found in greens, blues, yellows and purples…the rarest being the summons that dwelled in ominous red orbs…

…much like the one in front of him.

Curious, as Harry had learned how to identify materia without casting them or getting his soul stuck in them—that had been an…odd experience to say the least—Harry examined the materia to see if he had a good summons.

All he came up with was a craving for tea and scones.

Shrugging, the boy pocketed the red orb and resumed his walk.

* * *

Harry couldn't believe it. He sat there, staring at the plate that had a maple scone sitting innocently on it. Cloud had just said that it was a "harmless summons…if they exist" which Harry didn't know should have relieved him or made him wary, but he thought nothing could be worse than dying by Voldemort's hands, so he had chalked up his infamous Gryffindor courage and cast the summons…

…and received the scone on his plate.

He had practiced, and after some trial and error, realized that what he had in his hands was a Scone Summons materia. He hadn't known a thing like that could exist. He didn't think it was a high level one, since all he managed to summon were plain, maple, cranberry-orange, and walnut scones thus far. As soon as he realized that he could have a piece of home at every meal, the Gryffindor practiced relentlessly. Soon blueberry was added to the mix as well as gooseberry. He once…ONCE…he had no idea how...managed to get a shepherd's pie, but it must have been a fluke because over the weeks he used it to a mastery level, it hadn't happened again. Harry was sad, because when Marlene got it in her head to cook, the materia usual gave him the best it had.

Aside from the original flavours he had cast, Harry managed to get almond, raspberry, cheddar chili, cinnamon, cheddar-herb, gingerbread, oatmeal butterscotch, raisin, cranberry, orange, chocolate and one that tasted like hamburgers. When he gave the materia to Cloud, to ask him how leveled he thought it was, Cloud had mentioned off-handedly that, were he to guess—which was why he had handed him the materia in the first place—that he thought it was "half way there".

Huh…Harry could have sworn it was further along than that. Holding tea parties with Marlene and Denzel, Harry provided refreshments so Tifa only had to worry about meals and the food she served at the bar. It was nice.

It was when he started getting muffins that Harry was intrigued.

He hadn't been thinking about anything in particular when he cast, but when he looked at the plate, the dark haired boy's eyebrows scrunched up in confusion.

What the bloody blazes was that?

"What's that, Harry?" Marlene asked.

"It looks like a muffin," Harry replied. Tentatively taking a bite, Harry made a face.

Bran Muffin.

Harry could summon any scone that had ever been thought to be made, yet when he cast, he got a bloody bran muffin?

The irony wasn't lost on him.

He cast again, still mulling over the bran muffin, which he soon found out was a mistake. Instead of a scone like he was expecting, the Gryffindor was met with a blueberry muffin.

"Another muffin?" Denzel inquired, daintily sipping his tea. The boy had tea drinking and pouring down to an art.

Harry nodded. This time when he cast, he thought about Maple and Raspberry scones. The desired pastries materialized on the plate they had for dainties. Marlene happily clapped her hands and Denzel smiled.

_What the fuck was up with the muffins? _Harry thought…he mulled over what he just thought. _I'm definitely spending way to much time with Reno._

Drinking his tea and eating the muffin, Harry made small talk in his alter ego, Mr. Black—who loved tea parties and dainties and talking about nothing—and kept the kids occupied until dinner. Tifa was busy killing monsters in the area since Cloud was on a delivery so that left Reno and Rude to cook for them.

He hoped that Reno was cooking instead of Rude. He shuddered at the last time he had cooked anything.

* * *

The next day had Yuffie bouncing around the bar trying to hold a conversation with Tifa as the barmaid cleaned glasses.

"Why don't you go upstairs and see what the kids and Harry are up to?" Truthfully, she just didn't feel like humouring the sugar high ninja princess anymore.

"Sure thing!"

Tifa gave a sigh of relief as the girl bounded up the stairs. Opening the door to the kid's room, she found Marlene, Denzel and Harry sitting at a table. They couldn't be doing what she thought they were doing, since girls usually only did it with dolls and there was no way a girl could convince two boys, especially when one was almost as old as she was, to do that kind of thing.

"Your Highness!" Marlene said, standing up to curtsy. "You're just in time for tea. These are my asso…associates Mr. Black and Mr. Sinclair."

"Please, have a seat," Mr. Black—Harry—said as he scooted to one side. "Is there a dainty you prefer? We're having lemon-poppy seed muffins, cranberry-orange scones and raspberry scones."

"Scones?"

"Those things," Denzel—Mr. Sinclair—pointed out. "They're really good."

"Ms. Loveable is partial to Raspberry scones," Mr. Black helpfully interjected.

"I'll just have what you'll give me, Mr. Black," Yuffie—Her Highness—replied.

"You'll be having…" Mr. Black began. There was a familiar flash of materia, the magic reminding the expert materia thief, thief of anything really, of a summons materia. "…a Danish?" It flashed again. "A cherry turn-over?"

Yuffie looked at the delicious looking pastries in wonder. She'd seen these kind of pastries up near Fort Condor and Icicle. Grabbing the confectionary goodies, Yuffie was poured a cup of tea by Denzel and she listened in on the mundane conversation. So this is what kids did when grown ups weren't around.

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_posted 16September2008  
_


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N:** This part was supposed to be in the other, but I couldn't make it work. So here's the rest of it. Yes, PD is getting worked on as well. School is kicking my ass this quarter.

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Ms. Loveable clapped enthusiastically as Mr. Black provided the refreshments for their party again. Russian Tea Cakes was the last thing that Harry managed to get. Cloud had dubbed the materia mastered, but there was always a surprise every now and then. He once managed to get a chicken salad sandwich when Rude had burned dinner one evening. The man could put together anything, but when an oven or stove was involved, might as well get him drunk, blind fold him and tell him to cook.

One time he summoned, Harry had been mortified. On their Dainty Plate, a dozen of Hagrid's Rock Cookies sat innocently in a delicate arrangement that belied their malevolent nature.

"Mr. Black, what are those?" Ms. Loveable inquired.

"They are not the muffins you were aiming for," Mr. Sinclair interjected.

"Those, my friends," Mr. Black explained, "are Hagrid's Rock Cookies. If you don't fancy teeth, by all means eat them. They make stale cookies seem fresh." Harry poked one. "And they appear to be freshly made."

Marlene and Denzel made a face. Harry had recast the summons. He had brought them downstairs intent on throwing them out after their Tea Party was done. Harry had put the teapot in the sink and had come back out to get the cookies but, to his horror, Reno was contentedly gnawing on the hell-spawn cookies. Harry didn't know whether or not to be impressed or horrified. He decided to just act like nothing was out of the ordinary and went his own way.

Denzel had made the tea this time around, and Mr. Black was very impressed with the quality of tea that Mr. Sinclair was able to procure. The dark haired youth had no idea where the boy got the tea from, since, to his knowledge, the boy had no allowance, but wherever it was from it was good. When Her Highness the Princess Ninja graced their parties, Denzel always seemed to have some kind of tea from Wutai where she was from—brewed to perfection of course. Her Highness had developed a love of Russian Tea Cakes and Cherry Turnovers, Ms. Loveable favoured Raspberry scones while Mr. Sinclair was content with Maple scones and Lemon Poppy-seed muffins. Mr. Black just ate a bit of what everyone else was having since it was a veritable bakery anyway. What use of summoning more?

As Harry nibbled on a particularly delicious cherry turnover, he absently wondered just where the dainties he summoned came from. Did the magic of the materia create them?

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If Mrs. Weasely was a person prone to swearing, she'd be blue in the face and making sailors blush. As it was, Fred and George were banned from the Burrow as she baked. But no matter what Mrs. Weasely did, her scones, danishes, muffins and once a chicken salad sandwich went missing. She checked the house and nothing came up; no spells indicating someone was taking them. Flustered, the woman began to bake more than she intended to for every batch she made, a dozen or so went missing.

Little did Mrs. Weasely know, she wasn't the only one with disappearing baked goods. The House Elves at Hogwarts were beside themselves when a shepherd's pie disappeared. Dobby had been putting the finishing touches on it when him and the elves near him felt a strange tingling sensation—something akin to a limb "waking up" from being "asleep"—when suddenly there was a "POP!" and the pie had disappeared. Wringing their ears in distress, the elves that had witnessed the event quickly made another and hoped it didn't happen again.

The hard working little creatures always made slews of cookies; First Years who stumbled upon the kitchen and the students in the upper years always came by for cookies and pasties in which the elves were only to happy to oblige them. They didn't notice when a dozen or so cookies or other such dainty or pasty went missing; they just assumed one of their own had fed a hungry student or the occasional teacher.

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Hagrid scratched the back of his head as he entered his hut. He was sure that there had been cookies on the plate before he had gone out into the Forest. Although, he did remember eating a few…perhaps he had eaten them all? Hagrid did remember giving one or two to Fang as well.

"Eh, looks like we're makin' more cookies, Fang," Hagrid told his loyal, slobbering dog. Fang "WOOFED!" as he laid down to watch his master make the cookies he loved so much.


End file.
